german expressionism

In elementary school, one of my favorite events was the seasonal distribution of a slim mail-order discount publishing catalog. Basically, it was like a Girl Scout Cookie order form, but for nerds. To be perfectly honest, my brain waters a bit just thinking about it.

I can't remember what they were called or what company produced them, but I do remember that it was a fairly important element of my ongoing childhood strategy to wheedle as many books as possible out of my parents. ("But Mo-om, these books are for schoo-ol! And I get five! For a dollar! The last time books were this cheap was when you were a kid!")

Occasionally, though, the offerings were less than impressive, and I would have to settle for a few oddball selections in order to make my bulk-discount quota. This is why, in sixth grade, I ended up buying my first foreign-language dictionary - in German.

It was, pretty much, the most useless book I could have purchased. My school didn't teach foreign languages, not really, preferring instead to have us study much more useful things like meditation and advanced Oregon Trail. We also had a three-month unit on the tundra, during which we spent two torturous weeks reading To Build A Fire.

Unfortunately for me, my dictionary didn't include anything about permafrost or impassable quagmire, so it wasn't of much use. It was soon relegated to a bookshelf in the corner of my bedroom where it has sat, neglected, ever since.

I have never had reason to regret that decision.

Until today.

Because today I discovered a series of amazing, almost Salad Fingers-like instructional videos at MyGermanClass.com.


I have no idea what's going on between Übel Knübel and his bester Freund here - and, actually, I have no idea what's going on in any of them, but I bet if I'd paid more attention to that dictionary, I would know. And I'm pretty sure it would be awesome.